Red Lipstick & Side Ponytails

Life as a working mother is anything but calm and slow. From the minute my alarm goes off until both of my sweet boys are sleeping soundly in their beds, it is a rat race of to do’s that include the organizational, culinary, and patience skills of a Martha Stewart, Wolfgang Puck, and Mother Theresa.

My daily routine every morning includes brushing my teeth, dabbing a bit of make up on, donning a great outfit for work or workout clothes on the weekends. Most mornings my routine ends with my two tried and true go to’s: red lipstick and a side ponytail. For many this may seem like an odd blog post considering I haven’t posted in months but it’s intended to serve as the backdrop for an inspirational piece about recognizing the little things in life we can control and wearing them as a badge of beauty and strength.

Red lipstick makes a statement. It’s bold and strong. Two traits I think encompass all women working or not, mother or otherwise. While my role as a wife and mother, are two very important hats in my life. I also love and value my work as a counselor. I also wholeheartedly embrace my strength as a distance runner. So for me, red lipstick is the visual I see every time I look in the mirror and remind myself that, “I got this!”

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So on to the side ponytail. This is a simple hairstyle I rely on at least 50 percent of the time week in and week out. I change it up with a side twist or partial French braid to class it up, but it’s about as fuss free as it comes. Since Atticus was born, I can count on my hands the amount of times I’ve actually blow dried my hair. To be fair, it actually usually only gets a blowout if I’m at a salon getting my haircut. There are just other things in my life I’d rather spend time on and for that reason, the side ponytail has become my signature style.

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I realize red lipstick and a side ponytail don’t give me superpowers. I also readily accept that while they might be my go to, they certainly aren’t going to be for everyone else. That’s the beauty of being your own person. Accepting who you are, loving what you see in the mirror every day, and putting your best foot forward every one step at a time. For some of you it might be an amazing pair of high heels or a strand of your heirloom  pearls. Still for others it might be a fierce set of muscular arms or a radiant smile.

God made each of us unique for a reason. Be true to yourself and love yourself through it every step of the way. By that same token, compliment and appreciate the strengths of the amazing women in your life. Build them up rather than break them down. The world is hard enough as it is. Women need to do right by other women and it starts by simply respecting and valuing the unique gifts and talents our female friends, colleagues, and family members bring into our daily lives.

When All Else Fails…

This afternoon as my workday came to a close, I catalogued through my mental Rolodex of dinner ideas. I thought about the kitchen staples I had on hand and decided that Caprese chicken with fresh basil and sundried tomatoes sounded amazing. I knew I had two chicken breasts in the fridge but would need to stop at H-E-B for a few key ingredients: smoked provolone and fresh basil.

On Thursdays the dinner table is pretty quiet. Liam has gymnastics and his grandparents usually take him to dinner afterwards. Sean rarely eats with us during the week because he’s either still at work or at the gym. With half of the bears in our den missing for dinner tonight, I knew I’d enjoy the leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

With Atticus underfoot playing with an assortment of bowls and lids, I started gathering the ingredients on the island in preparation for dinner. I preheated the oven to 400 degrees and a drizzled olive oil in a Pyrex baking dish. Then I opened up the chicken breast to start prepping the meat and immediately realized something was amiss. An icky stench filled my nostrils and my heart sank. In the few days since I’d purchased the chicken, it had spoiled. The sell by date clearly stated 1/25, and yet it was clear the poultry was past it’s prime.

I quickly tried to recover as I considered other potential dinner options. But with my muse past her prime, I decided on the next best thing. When all else fails, order takeout. I called our neighborhood Chinese food restaurant and ordered vegetable Lo Mein, an order of General Tso’s chicken, and chicken with mixed vegetables. Less than thirty minutes later, the doorbell rang and just like that my dinner dilemma was remedied. Sometimes fixing a problem, really is that simple.

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Atticus absolutely loves Lo Mein. It truly is a sight to see watching an adorable 14 month old picking up the slimy noodles and slurping them up with gusto and joy. Over all, he’s a pretty good eater. He especially loves the broccoli included in the Lo Mein and is quite a fan of the peas and carrots in fried rice too.

Another perk of Chinese takeout comes from an insightful fortune. Opening our fortune cookies provided exactly the right amount of wisdom for this Mama Bear to consider as I cleaned up and boxed the leftovers.

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Appropriately, Atticus’s fortune cookie stated, “Be yourself and you’ll feel at home anywhere.” Truer words were never spoken especially when you reflect on its meaning through the eyes of a child. In their naivety, they lack the ability to be self-conscious. If only we were all so lucky to never have to outgrow this one. To be able to let our hair down and not fixate on what others think about us.

Although our self-awareness as adults is significantly different than that of our little ones, we can just as easily circle back to being ourselves. True to the adage, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken,” maybe we need to worry less about what others think. In the end, it really isn’t worth the stress. If someone doesn’t like us for who we are, then they probably don’t really need to be a part of our inner circle anyway.

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For a Mama Bear, nothing could be more poignant or telling than, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” How often do we forget this one as we put the needs of our spouse or children before our own? While we carry out these selfless acts of love day in and day out, we need to remember how important self-care is for our own well-being and ultimately the well-being of everyone else in our family. This is why I honed in on doing one thing every day for yourself in my last post.

In these quiet, little moments for ourselves, we’re making the time to love ourselves first. You know as well as I do that we don’t have more than a few minutes of quiet in any given day, especially when you have young children. But remember that quality traditionally outweighs quantity. If we allow ourselves just a few moments every day, over time the pay off will be exponential. Carve out time for solitude even if that solitude can only be achieved when you lock yourself in the bathroom briefly and close your eyes and slowly count to twenty. Cherish these small moments of “you” time. When our children graduate from high school and head off to college, we’ll have more time than we know what to do with. But those moments can take their time. I’m certainly not ready for that anytime soon. In the meantime, I’ll take what I can get when I can get it and trust that less is more, at least for now!