Birds of a Feather

Let it Be

October 25, 2023Uncategorized2 Comments

For as long back as I can remember, The Beatles were a fixture on the radio in my childhood home. The melodies, instrumentals, and unique lyrics fondly hold permanence in my heart.

From time to time, I find myself called back to the captivating lyrics. I listen with intention and often contemplate the deeper meaning behind the words.

One song that stands out most to me because of the work I do as a therapist is the song, Let it Be.

Paul McCartney and John Lennon cowrote the song, and the chorus is outlined below:

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be

You might be wondering why this resonates with me. I find it incredibly poignant when I think about how anxiety works when we move into a state of overthinking. We worry and consider the worst-case scenarios that might play out. It often evolves much like a domino effect with one thought spilling into the next until we have catastrophized ourselves into a tizzy.

The beauty of these simple words, “let it be,” offer such insight and wisdom that often we never allow ourselves to consider when we’re in a state of amplified anxiety. What is we could slow down our thoughts and the physical aspects of our anxiety so that we could quiet our mind and accept the things we truly cannot control. Because as McCartney and Lennon write, “there will be an answer. Let it be.”

I realize in the work I do that this is easier said than done when we are deep in negative thinking and overwhelm. But at the heart of our anxiety, is the need to come back to the breath and slow the gravy train of thoughts that feel all consuming.

Perhaps adopting this chorus as a mantra could be just the grounding technique we could lean into when we feel so in our heads. I strongly encourage you to give it a try the next time you find yourself moving into a heightened state of anxiety. Take out your journal and begin to write the lyrics, “there will be an answer. Let it be.” Write slowly and carefully, letting the words serve as a guide to coming back to the here and now.

If writing doesn’t resonate with you as a calming technique, consider sitting in a quiet comfortable position and slowly and gently repeating the chorus to yourself instead. “There will be answer. Let it be.”

Another alternative is to cue the song and listen with intention allowing the words to wash over you and bring you a sense of peace.

Even as I sit here writing this blog post, I can’t help but gently hum the chorus as I type. The song makes me think of my mom and her wisdom and guidance. The lyrics take me back to sitting in our living room with the album playing softly through the speakers. I feel loved, supported, and happy.

May you find power in contemplation as you consider the lyrics of this song and the opportunity they offer you to simply let things be. Don’t feel any sense of obligation to fix or worry about the things you cannot control. “There will be an answer. Let it be!”

Cultivating Mindful Moments

October 17, 2023UncategorizedLeave a Comment

If you dwell too much on the past or worry too much about the future, you’re missing the beautiful opportunities that line the path you’re on today. Be present to the possibilities right now. Cultivating mindfulness starts when you allow yourself to slow down and be present.

Here are three powerful yet simple opportunities to create a head space and heart space of mindfulness. Lean into one of these today and see what a few minutes of presence can offer you!

5-4-3-2-1

This grounding technique is intented to take your focus away from the negative thoughts or emotions you are experiencing by integrating the five senses.

If you can take space from the source of stress by walking to a quiet area of your home or office or venturing outside this is a great way to start this exercise. To center yourself, start with a slow, deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Using your eyes , begin to look with intention for five things you can see. As you search your surroundings, reflect on how each object makes you feel. For example, if you were outside you might hone in on a beautiful butterfly and smile as you take in its bright colors or the movement of its wings. Look up, down, and all around to make the best use what is available for you to see.

Next find 4 things you can touch. As you touch each object, be mindful of the texture and how it makes you feel. Is it soft, rough, smooth, cool…? Don’t shy away from tugging at a clump of grass and rubbing it between your fingers or running your hands under the faucet and delighting in its warmth.

Then find 3 things you can hear . Listen with intention to your surroundings as you think about each sound carefully. Consider how this sound makes you feel. Perhaps relaxed, tense, or energized.

Now find 2 things you can smell . Breathe in slowly as you take in the scent of each thing. Pause at the perfumery notes of a nearby rose or the salty smell of the ocean air.

1-

End the exercise with one thing you can taste. If you don’t have a piece of candy or a small snack on hand, think about something you love about yourself instead. In this final step, be deliberate with how you approach your sense of taste or reflection of self. Think about how the texture of the food feels on your tongue . Enjoy the sweet or savory taste on your tongue. Slowly appreciate the flavor in your mouth as your grounding technique comes to an end.

Come back to this simple sensory practice whenever you need a reason to change your thoughts or feelings. Give yourself permission to change the trajectory of your day as you implement a calming technique that helps encourage time for introspection, reflection, and self-love.

Centering Object

Find a centering object like a stone, feather, seashell, or other small trinket. Holding it in the palm of your hand, rub your fingers around the object as you think about the negative thoughts or feelings you are experiencing. This grounding practice is intended to give your worries and feelings a place to go. This in turn, allows you to let go and allow yourself to reset and start again.

I encourage my clients to be present to the beautiful opportunities nature offers in the form of centering objects like stones and seashells. Take a mindful walk and see what you discover along the way to add to your collection of centering objects. It also is a great idea to keep these items in a bowl on your desk or nightstand for convenient access when needed. These small objects are easy to take on the go in your pocket or purse too. Keeping these items close allows you to tap into them to center yourself whenever you need a quick reset.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing plays a critical role in signaling to our brain that we are in distress and are using our breath to calm down. Focusing on the slow, rhythmic tempo of our breath brings our cortisol levels down and allows our body to follow suit.

My favorite breathing exercise involves lengthening the exhale. In a heightened state of stress or anxiety, inhaling deeply may not always calm you down.

Here’s the research behind why lenghtening the exhale can be a powerful practice. Taking a deep breath in is linked to the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the fight-or-flight response. If we perceive a threat, we might start taking too many deep breaths too quickly. This can actually cause you to hyperventilate. Hyperventilation decreases the amount of oxygen-rich blood that flows to your brain. Because exhaling is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, it influences our body’s ability to relax and calm down.

Putting the exhale to practice:

Before you take a big, deep breath, start with a thorough exhale. Push all the air out of your lungs by exhaling deeply out of your mouth until you have nothing left to exhale.
When you have exhaled completely, allow your lungs to do their work and begin to slowly inhale air.
Focus on a slightly longer exhale by inhaling for four seconds and then exhaling for six.
Try doing this breathwork for two to five minutes as you settle into a comfortable rhythm.

This technique can be done in any position that’s comfortable for you, including standing, sitting, or lying down. I find it useful to close my eyes as I focus on deep breathing. It allows me to tune out any external stressors or distractions and be present to the power of the breath.

Remember that an essential part of cultivating mindfulness comes from being still. Quiet your mind, open your heart, and stand or sit in stillness. Focus on your breathe as you ground yourself in the present. Look to natural beauty for inspiration and a sense of peace.

There’s no right or wrong way to practice mindfulness. You don’t need any special equipment or tools. You simply need to be still and allow these simple, mindful practices to recenter your day.

The No-Win Game of Comparison

January 25, 2023UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Theodore Roosevelt said it best with, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We rob ourselves of this joy every single day when we play the no-win game of comparison.

Social media sets the perfect stage for the perfect storm of comparison. We scroll, scrutinize, suppose, and size up! But what does this really do for our well-being other than make us feel less pretty, less fit, less put together, less _____ (fill in the blank).

Not only does comparison take away opportunities to cultivate joy. It opens up a rabbit hole of opportunities to overthink and tear down the the things in our lives that we should be celebrating.

Our first line of defense is to set healthy boundaries around social media. Remember that you hold all the power when it comes to your online habits. Unfollow or unfriend the individuals who you find yourself endlessly trying to measure up to.

I always remind my clients that social media creates the perfect backdrop for perfection, which as we all know is utterly unachievable. Before you allow yourself to play the comparison game try tuning in to the emotions you are experiencing as you scroll. If you feel triggered by someone else’s content, put your phone down and spend a few moments reflecting on the negative feelings or emotions this post brought on.

When we take inventory of what is no longer serving us, set personal boundaries with social media that protect our peace, and allow ourselves to acknowledge our own path and the little wins we are achieving every day, we give ourselves the best chance of stepping into the best version of ourselves.

Mindset Matters: You are what you Think

March 11, 2022Counseling & Wellness, Goal setting, HappinessLeave a Comment

We cannot step into the best version of ourselves without recognizing the importance that mindset plays in our daily lives. Our mindset truly has the power to propel us to greatness or plow us into deep despair. Intentionality and optimism play a critical role in how mindset shapes our daily lives.

When we believe in our potential for growth, we are living out a growth mindset.
If we allow our failures to dictate our worth, we are stuck in a fixed mindset.

What you think day in and day out ultimately shapes your thoughts and beliefs. Let’s unpack some of the key aspects that can meaningfully improve our mindset. These inlclude our daily choices, reframing our emotions and how we view failure, grounding statements and affirmations, and self-talk.

DAILY CHOICES

Our life is comprised of a series of daily choices. What time to wake up? What to eat for breakfast? What to wear to work? What kind of physical movement we pursue? Each day presents an endless list of choices!

With each conscience decision we make, our mindset and emotions shape these choices. Sometimes unexpected challenges threaten to change the trajectory of our day. It can be easy to allow negative thoughts to seep in and tarnish our outlook. When we feel like our day started off on the wrong foot or we hit a hangup we didn’t anticipate, our mindset in these situations can significantly impact the direction our day goes.

This is where choice comes into play more than ever. We can overcome our predisposition to allow negative thougths to take hold of our day by choosing to embrace the power of positivity. It certainly isn’t easy to choose optimism in these situations, but the alternative (negative thinking) can derail our whole day if we give it the power to do so.

No day can or ever will be perfect. There will be days fraught with despair, grief, and unhappiness. But even on our darkest days, we can choose to find joy in the little blessings we focus our time and energy on instead of marinating in the negative!

A great way to nurture looking for the little blessings in our day is by keeping a gratitude journal. Every day either at the beginning or end of the day, write down 3 to 5 things you are most grateful for from the last 24 hours. This timeline is important because it keeps us focused on the here and now. This journal can be a great tool on our more challenging days because when we look back on previous entries we can see the positive things that made our day special.

Help reframe negativity with a gratitude journal.

On these more difficult days, joy may simply come from a genuine embrace from a loved one or something beautiful we encounter through nature. The important thing to remember is that our choices set the tone for how our day will unfold. The choice is always ours to make. We can choose joy and embrace a growth mindset or let our intrusive thoughts hold all the power.

REFRAME EMOTIONS & FAILURE

Sometimes our anger, annoyance, and frustration hinders our ability to be the best version of ourselves. In these more difficult moments, we have to be intentional about identifying the negative emotions and feelings that we are experiencing. We should never feel like we have to hide our feelings from others, but we need to work towards reframing these emotions. When we can process them in healthy ways, we can avoid hurting others with harsh words and negative actions.

Compassion, grace, and patience are incredibly positive alternatives to these negative emotions. When we extend compassion and grace to ourselves in the face of adversity and failure, we can start to slowly find peace through acceptance.

Journaling about these stronger feelings and identifying what is causing them is the first step towards better understanding our emotional triggers.

Mood journaling can help you start to recognize patterns of negative thinking and allow you to process emotional triggers.

Integrating grounding statements into your day is also a powerful way to shift your perspective and mindset. A grounding statement I find incredibly valuable when I know I need to reframe a negative emotion is:

“I let go of my _____________________ (negative emotion) and replace it with compassion for myself.”

Reframing our mindset takes patience and practice. We have to be intentional about the work we do to help ourselves learn from our missteps. By accepting our failures as opportunities for growth, we can reframe our negative emotions and slowly start improving our mindset.

SELF-TALK

The way you talk to yourself takes up space within you. Consider how much of a gift talking to yourself kindly and with grace will impact your overall well-being. If your self-talk is filled with negativity, however, you will never be able to reach a state of self-love and self-acceptance.The power rests in your thoughts and words. Honor your strengths, embrace who you are wholeheartedly, and focus on only allowing positive words to take up space inside your beautiful heart and head.

Integrating affirmation work into your day can help you start to build confidence. The key to affirmation work is to believe wholeheartedly in the statement. If you do not believe in what you are saying to yourself, these words will never have the power to help you reach your fullest potential.

The internet is a wealth of knowledge. Use it to find affirmations that speak to the area of your life you hope to improve most. Start with one affirmation that resonates most with you. Write this affirmation on your mirror with a dry erase marker or on a Post It! note. As you brush your teeth every morning and evening, reflect on this affirmation. Then after a few moments of reflection, say it out loud boldly and intentionally.

Continue to use this affirmation until you know in your heart you are living out these words in your daily life. Then find a new affirmation and continue this practice of positive self-talk again.

Improve self-talk by reciting a positive affirmation
you genuinely believe in!

STEP INTO YOUR GREATNESS

When we can acknowledge the power of positivity and start to recognize the value of a growth mindset, the world truly becomes our oyster.

Let this post serve as a simple reminder of your potential and capacity for greatness. You got this!

Step into your greatness by putting your best foot forward!

The Origin Story

February 27, 2022March 1, 2022UncategorizedLeave a Comment

A little over 10 years ago, I found myself at an incredibly difficult crossroads. Facing a failed relationship with my immediate familial support system more than 350 miles away, I knew the path back would be challenging. In the aftermath of my break up, I discovered a circle of friends who carried me past the heartache and feelings of sadness.

Break ups can be opportunities for intense and purposeful instrospection. The time I spent reflecting and growing allowed me to recognize what I wanted most out of my life- to serve and help others. I reenrolled in graduate school at The University of St. Thomas and let my heart lead me the rest of the way through my counseling coursework.

In the midst of rebuilding my personal life, I decided to get a tattoo of the silhouette of birds in flight. It served as a daily reminder every day as I got dressed that I was not alone. I had the comfort, love, grace, and support of my flock. Rooted in the adage, “birds of a feather, flock together”, I found strength and solidarity in the people who lifted me up when I needed them the most.

How poignant and fitting that I chose Birds of a Feather Wellness & Counseling as the name of my private counseling practice. It is my privilege and honor to help and serve my clients as they find their way back to themselves through therapy, personal development, community, and wellness.

At the heart of the work I do, I hope to encourage, inspire, and nurture you to spread your wings and soar to your fullest potential in life. Thank you for being a part of this wellness community, birdies! I look forward to sharing wellness content with you on this site.

A Bird’s Eye View

June 11, 2020Uncategorized1 Comment

Meal planning can certainly prove to be a duanting task, especially if this isn’t your forte and you feel at a loss about where to begin. To simplify the process and also give you some new, easy, and healthy recipes to try, I’m offering you a bird’s eye view of how I meal plan using my weekly meal planner template.

As I established earlier this week, it starts by generating ideas. You can find these in a wealth of places including some of your favorite magazine subscriptions, social media feeds, and the internet. I have to say that in a pinch, Google is the absolute best way to troubleshoot your way into a creative recipe by simply typing several key ingredients you have on hand and letting their search engine capabilities do the rest.

If you’re looking for more ideas and guidance about meal planning, please visit the Birds of a Feather Wellness Facebook or Instagram account.

Without further ado, let’s launch into this week’s meal planner starting with the dinner breakdown for each day of the week. Each day will also include a link to the recipe online (if needed) so that you have everything you need to pull together a great dinner.

Weekly Meal Plan Sample Week

Because today is Thursday, I would schedule my curbside grocery pick up at HEB for later this afternoon and move through the week from Thursday through Wednesday. This is important because I try to be mindful of keeping my produce fresh.

THURSDAY

Pasta with sauteed chicken, mushrooms, artichokes, and sundried tomatoes

This recipe is a simple and easy way to use fresh and staple items for an easy and delicious weeknight meal. I typically opt for whole wheat pasta but feel free to use the type of pasta that best meets your dietary needs.

Ingredients- 8 oz pasta, 1/2 onion (diced or sliced), 2 cloves garlic (chopped), 1/2 a pint of portabella mushrooms, 1 LB chicken tenders (cubed), 1 jar of sun dried tomatoes, 1 can of artichoke hearts quartered.

In a large pot, boil the pasta per the directions on the package.

In a skillet on medium high heat, add 1 TBS of olive oil from the jarred sun dried tomatoes and sauté half the for 2 to 3 minutes until the onion is translucent. Then add the garlic and sauté for an additional minute. Toss in the chicken (cubed) and sauté until the chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the center. Next add the mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes in oil, and canned artichokes. Cook until the mushrooms, tomatoes and artichokes are warmed through.

Add the cooked, drained pasta to the skillet and mix throughly to evenly distribute the oil. Top with fresh lemon juice and shredded parmesan. Serve with a country-style loaf of bread and a chopped salad.

FRIDAY

Crunchy eggs with bacon, hashbrowns, and biscuits or pancakes

Who doesn’t love breakfast for dinner? There’s a lot of flexibility with this meal, and it’s especially a fan favorite for children. To make this meal more balanced, serve with fresh cherry tomatoes and fresh fruit.

The crunchy eggs really take the traditional fried egg up a notch. Here’s a link to the Real Simple recipe:

https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/crunchy-skillet-eggs-herbs-recipe

A few of my favorite hacks for making this dinner especially great include the following:

Allow the frozen hashbrowns to thaw completely in the fridge overnight so that they can really brown in the skillet.
Bake the bacon in the oven at 425. Cook on one side for 4 to 5 minutes. Then flip and cook for an additional 4 minutes. This allows the bacon to be extra crispy! I then use the bacon grease in my eggs for an extra layer of flavor. You can omit this step if you are being health-conscious. I genuinely believe these simple pleasures should be enjoyed in moderation provided that you are exercising regularly and eating mindfully most of the time.
If you’re pressed for time pre-made frozen biscuits and frozen pancakes are a great time saver.

SATURDAY

Steak and grilled peppers and corn on the cob with homemade chimichurri

Fire up the grill for this flavorful summer dinner.

Ingredients: 1 pkg mixed sweet mini peppers, 2 12 oz strip steaks, 3 to 4 ears of corn on the cob (husks removed).

Here’s a link to my favorite chimichurri sauce:

Bacon-Wrapped BBQ Shrimp with Chimichurri Dipping Sauce

Heat the grill to medium.

In a bowl coat the sweet mini peppers with olive olive oil, salt, & pepper. Use a basting brush to coat the corn in olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Season the steak with salt and pepper. Transfer all items to a large platter.

Place on the grill and cover. Turn the peppers and corn periodically so that they get a nice char going on all sides. The steak will cook anywhere from 5 to 8 minutes per side depending on your desired preference. When finished, remove from the grill and slice the steaks into strips, then top with the homemade chimichurri sauce. Serve alongside an ear of corn and peppers.

SUNDAY

Chicken fried rice

I’m always a fan of ways to shortcut my time in the kitchen. This is where frozen staple and pantry items absolutely save the day. For this recipe I use Tai Pei vegetable fried rice as a starter. Then I use fresh produce and chicken to round the meal out.

Ingredients: frozen fried rice, 1 LB chicken tenders (cubed), 1/2 sweet onion (thinly sliced or diced), 1/2 a pint of mushrooms (sliced), frozen edamame, & PF Changs vegetable egg rolls

Frozen staples

In a large skillet on medium high, heat 1 TBS of olive oil. Add the onions and cook until translucent. Add the cubed chicken and mushrooms, and sauté until cooked through. Remove from the skillet and set aside. Add the package of frozen rice along with 2 teaspoons of oil and water. Cover and cook for 8 to 10 minutes until the rice starts to brown. Stir occassionally. Add the chicken, mushrooms, and onions and stir to evenly distribute the ingredients. Serve with edamame and egg rolls.

Chicken Fried Rice

MONDAY

Tacos with rice and beans

This simple recipe can easily be a weekly staple and can be swapped out for ground beef, ground turkey, or ground chicken.

Taco ingredients- 1.5 LBS ground meat, 1 pkg taco seasoning, 1/2 sweet or white onion (diced), flour or corn tortillas (soft or hard), shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, diced tomato, diced avocado, and jarred salsa

Rice ingredients- Mi Tienda Mexican rice or your grocery store’s pre-made equivalent, 1 can of black or pinto beans (drained and rinsed), 1/2 cup frozen corn, 1/4 sweet onion (diced), chicken broth

In a large skillet on medium high, sauté onion in 1 TBS olive until translucent. Add the beef and brown. Add the taco seasoning and follow the directions on the package.

On a comal or flat skillet, warm the tortillas if preparing soft tacos. Warm the crunchy tacos in the oven per the directions on the box if your prefernce is cruchy tacos.

In a medium-size pot, sauté the 1/4 onion in olive oil, add the frozen corn and canned beans. Microwave the rice per the package directions and then add the rice to the pot. Add a small amount of chicken broth to keep the rice and beans from drying out. You may have to adjust the amount of broth as you stir the ingredients together. Reduce the temperature to low, and allow to warm through.

Serve the tacos with shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, grated cheese, diced avocado, and salsa and plate with rice and beans.

TUESDAY

Pulled pork sliders with chopped salads

This is the easiest weeknight meal of all time. It can easily come together in less than 15 minutes. I reserve this one for weeknights I know that I will be especially presssed for time.

Ingredients- HEB natural fully-cooked pulled pork or your favorite grocery store’s equivalent , 1 pkg whole wheat sliders, your favorite barbeque sauce, sliced dill pickles, and a storebought chopped salad kit.

Heat the pulled pork per the directions on the package. Serve on sliders with bbq sauce and pickles. Add a heaping portion of salad to your plate and enjoy.

WEDNESDAY

Rice bowl

This is the perfect way to repurpose leftovers. Build this bowl around key ingredient you have on hand or from leftovers from earlier in the week. The important thing to consider when dreaming up your bowl is to integrate at least one protein, some fresh or frozen produce, and a great jarred or homemade sauce. Consider using your favorite salsa, chimichurri, or oil based sauce.

Ingredients- leftover rice and ground beef from Monday’s tacos, shredded lettuce, diced tomato, grated cheese, fresh cilantro (choppped), fresh squeezed lime juice, and salsa

Depending on how much you have leftover you can stretch this recipe with a bag of microwaveable brown rice and canned black or pinto beans.

Warm the rice, beans, and ground beef in a skillet or microwave. Remove the stove and add to a bowl. Top with fresh diced tomatoes, shredded lettuce, grated cheese, cilantro, lime juice, and salsa. These can be enjoyed alone or with a side of tortilla chips for an extra crunch.

Weekly Shopping List

Produce– portabello mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, Roma tomatoes (3 to 4), romaine lettuce (I usually buy the pre-washed, trimmed option), fresh lemons & limes (3 to 4 each), corn on the cob (3 to 4 ears), 1 bunch of cilantro, 1 bunch of parsley, garlic bulb (1 to 2), onion (2 to 3), 1 pkg sweet mini peppers, chopped salad kit (2)

Meat– Chicken tenders, 2 LBS (I usually opt for these over chicken breasts because they cook faster, which saves time in the kitchen. I will use half the package for Thursday’s recipe and then freeze the other half until Sunday’s recipe), skirt steaks (2- 12 oz), 1.5 LBS ground meat of your choice, 1 pkg HEB natural fully-cooked pulled pork

Pantry– tortillas (corn, flour, or boxed crunchy depending on your taco preference), 1 pkg whole wheat slider buns, canned black or pinto beans (at least 2 cans), 1 can of artichoke hearts, microwaveable brown rice, jarred sundried tomatoes, your favorite bbq sauce, sliced pickles

Refrigerated– Mi Tienda Mexican rice or your favorite microweable Mexican or Spanish rice

Frozen– Tai Pei vegetable fried rice, edamame, hashbrowns

Dairy– Eggs

The image of my shopping list includes additional items specific to my breakfast, lunch, and snack ideas. I only included the list of ingredients you will need to make the weekly dinners.

I hope you found this bird’s eye view of my weekly meal plan to be both inspiring and helpful. With careful planning each week, you can create healthy, delicious meals that allow you to stay on budget and stay on track with your health and wellness goals.

Feel free to email me at birdsofafeatherwellness@gmail.com for this meal plan template or for specific questions regarding meal planning.

Spread your wings & soar in the kitchen,

Heidi

Grace, Grit, & Gammie

May 14, 2020Uncategorized3 Comments

My heart is filled with grief and sadness for the loss of my grandmother, Elida “Ellie” Rios. Fondly referred to in our family circle as “Gammie”. This incredibly resilient, poised, and tenacious woman passed away peacefully in her sleep early yesterday morning to find eternal rest.

She grew up in a quiet, small town in rural Texas with her parents, Felix and Ana Leal Zuniga. The middle child of six, her older and younger siblings: Celia, Eladio “Lalo”, Anna, Evelyn, and Ercilia “Ersie”, naturally found themselves enveloped in her caring and generous spirit. Her first language was Spanish, and she later learned to speak English when she started elementary school. She spent her formative years in Hebbronville developing a love of fashion and style all her own as she enveloped her family and friends in her kindness and love.

GRACE

Upon graduation from Hebbronville High School, Ellie crossed paths with a handsome duster-pilot at the San Benito Airport. Her courtship with Guadalupe “Lupe” Gomez quickly blossomed, and Ellie found herself falling deeply for her first love. The two married and made a life together in Los Fresnos, Texas with their two children, Dahlia “Dolly” and Gil.

Ellie’s natural grace and glamour evolved into entrepreneurial success when she opened Ellie’s Beauty Studio. Her passion as a hairdresser embraced a desire to help other women find strength in their beauty. These weekly visits to Ellie’s offered far more than just a trim or a style, she also offered insight, wisdom, and community to all the women she served.

For those of you who did not have the privilege of crossing paths with this woman. I feel a key part of her story lies in her poise and grace. This is a woman who genuinely and wholeheartedly embraced her femininity. She had immaculately styled hair, teased just enough and always the perfect shade of blonde. She wore a full face of makeup that was never overdone but always finished off with the perfect tint of red lipstick. Her delicately manicured nails always wrapped around a fashionable handbag that she usually slung over her shoulder so she could saunter just so, lighting up the path along her way as though it were a high fashion runway. Her sense of fashion always mirrored the times, and one of her favorite pastimes until the very end came from the joy derived from retail therapy with her daughter, daughter-in-law, and granddaughters.

GRIT

In July of 1966, Lupe tragically died in a plane crash leaving Ellie widowed with two young children. Her strength and tenacity allowed her to overcome numerous challenges as a single mother during a time when female entrepreneurs were not treated with the same level of prestige and success as their male counterparts.

Life after Lupe proved to be a challenge, but she never lost sight of her dream to build her business while also providing for her children. As any strong woman would tell you, it never comes easily. It requires steadfast dedication, application, and grit. She made sacrifices like renting her family home out to supplement her income while living in the back three rooms of her beauty shop with her children. Despite these challenges, Ellie proudly put her two children through college as she continued to scale her beauty business.

With time, Ellie found room in her heart again for love. And one day, as fate would have it, she drove her car to the neighboring town of Brownsville for auto repairs. As she waited for her car, she decided to pass some time at a nearby ice cream parlor for a treat. It was here that she met her second and final love, Rafael “Ralph” Rios, a high school coach and wood shop teacher in Brownsville.

Gamms

The two of them built a life around her beauty shop and his teaching career. They grew old together in Los Fresnos watching their own children find love and expand their families. They both valued the importance of civic duty by serving their communities through service and leadership. Some of her most proud commitments included service to the Los Fresnos Junior Service League, Los Fresnos Band Boosters, Mr. Amigo Association, Sembradores Unidos, Alambras, Eucharistic Minister at St. Cecilia Catholic Church, and a member of the Red Hat Society.

GAMMIE

Ellie was lovingly and fondly referred to as “Gammie” among family and loved ones. This moniker evolved from my inability to say, “Granny” as a little girl. Quickly this became the name adopted as her grandmother name. Growing up, those in our friend circle also warmly and respectfully called her Gammie. In many ways she was a grandmother to many always embracing them in a warm hug and nourishing their spirits with baked goods and iced tea.

Ellie led a long, rich, and storied life. She loved deeply, persevered fiercely, and taught me that femininity can be both beautiful and bold. Her legacy and memory as a wife, mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, businesswoman, and friend will live on in the stories her loved ones share. She touched my life in so many poignant ways, and I was so incredibly blessed to to have a grandmother like my Gammie.

last picture

Despite my sadness, I take comfort in knowing one day I will cross paths with her again in Heaven. Until then, Gammie, I’ll put on my bright red lipstick always channeling your grace and poise as I reflect on the day ahead in the mirror.

Hasta que nos volvamos a ver, Gammie, siempre te amaré y siempre te llevaré en mi corazón.

Student of the Week

April 6, 2019Building Each Other Up, Family, Golden Bear, Happiness, Humor, Love, Parenting, Special People, Uncategorized2 Comments

This week, Liam enjoyed all of the attention and excitement surrounding the coveted title of Student of the Week in his first grade class. With more than three fourths of the school year complete, for an impatient first grader this honor took far longer than he would have liked. When his moment to shine finally came, it is safe to say he relished in every part of it.

Friday culminated the end of a wonderful week for him and allowed me the opportunity to surprise him with an open letter his teacher shared with him and his classmates during the morning meeting. I joined his class towards the end of his lunch period to share two of his favorite books with his class. When I arrived, they were all abuzz about how cool Liam’s letter was. I put a little extra care into the creation of the letter by incorporating it into a PowerPoint presentation filled with pictures and special anecdotes about Liam. It only seemed fitting to format this piece into my latest blog post.

Our Letter to Liam

Dear Liam,

Dad and I are so proud of how much you’ve grown over the last few years. You amaze us with your energy, love of reading, and curiosity.

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Dad and I know being the oldest comes with a lot of responsibility. We are proud of you for accepting this role. You are such a hard worker at home helping us with chores and taking care of your new puppy, Stormtrooper. Thank you for doing such a great job. We appreciate your help so very much.

Liam you truly are an amazing big brother. Atticus is so blessed to have a brother who is kind, caring, helpful, and loving. You understand how important it is to share and help him learn to how to be his best. Thank you for your big heart!

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Your adventurous spirit is something we truly admire about you, Liam. We love how excited you are about the thrill of scaling a fence, racing across the neighborhood on your go kart, or achieving some type of athletic accomplishment. May you continue to enjoy all of life’s great adventures!

Growing up on the beach, I have loved watching you find so much joy on the sandy shores of South Padre Island too. The excitement of building sand castles, riding waves, and collecting sea shells are some of my favorite summer memories with you.

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I know dad loves sharing his love of snowboarding with you. You have really picked up the sport and impress us both with how adventurous you are to carve down mountains in Colorado. We look forward to seeing you continue to improve and excel in the sport.

You astonish us with how much you love sweets. Donuts, candy, cupcakes, milkshakes… you name it, you are all too happy to gobble it up. May your love of sugary sweets continue to bring you endless amounts of happiness.

Liam, your life of leisure is something we admire about you. You are all about the pajama life and would stay in them all day, every day if we let you. As you grow, I hope you do not lose sight of the simple pleasures in life like wearing comfy pajamas from sun up to sun down.

Liam, we hope you continue to work hard, show kindness, and find joy in life. We love you so much and are proud of all of the positive things you do.

All our love,

Mom & Dad

Slowing Down

March 20, 2019Family, Happiness, infant sleep, Mama Bears, Self care, Simple & easy, Special People, Things I love, Uncategorized1 Comment

For educators and students, alike, Spring Break is a welcome reprieve from textbooks, lesson plans, and tedious schedules. It’s a week to sleep in, relax with a good book, travel, or find fun adventures to discover around your neighborhood.

While Sean and Liam jetted off for a snowboard adventure in Colorado, I opted for a more low key break sprinkled with equal parts of quality time with my mom and Atticus, lazy afternoons of endless reading, and low key evenings watching chick flicks. There were also intermittent dashes of spring cleaning and shopping excursions serving up the perfect recipe for an absolutely wonderful break.

Now granted, slowing down is not typically one of my strong suits, but the takeaway from a week devoid of over-scheduled, hectic workdays is simple: sometimes all a girl really needs is a little downtime to recharge and appreciate the beauty in the little things.

Quality Time

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Quality time can come in many different forms. Before Liam and Sean headed north to the mountains and snow, we enjoyed a lazy Sunday sipping coffee at Land of Thousand Hills, spending quality time with the boys engaged in creative play in an imaginative world of superheroes and castles, and enjoying the beautiful weather watching Liam attempt to roller skate around the neighborhood with his little brother hot on his heels on his tricycle. In the hustle and bustle of our busy work schedules, it was so nice to slow things down and just allow the day to unfold as it did.

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For this avid reader, nothing is more enjoyable than sharing my love of reading with my boys. Something as simple as pausing in the middle of a Target run on Monday morning to peruse the literature section for a great read is a perfect example of quality time.

Liam caught up on a new Captain Underpants novel while Atticus found himself lost in a Coco book. As they quietly enjoyed their reading time on the tiled floor, I perused the self-help section for some great new reads: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis, 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal, and The Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness by Andy Puddicombe. These books quickly became page turners for me on the quiet afternoons Atticus spent napping over the break!

Fuss-free Food

Most weekends, I carve out a portion of my time meal planning and grocery shopping for all of the weekly essentials. Spring Break offered a unique opportunity to stray from the usual and enjoy fuss-free meals with ingredients on hand or take-out leftovers spread out over multiple days. I still kept it healthy with dinners of sautéed kale with sliced almonds and dried cherries, but I also channeled my inner child with whole grain Mickey Mouse nuggets enjoyed with an adorable dinner companion sitting in his high chair cheering about macaroni and cheese and orange slices. Scrapping the more elaborate dinners for low key options offered me more quality time with Atticus and less time in the kitchen cooking or doing the dishes!

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Simple Self-Care

Every girl loves a little pampering. Simple forms of self-care provided the perfect opportunity to relax and unwind. Nothing says, “ahhhhhh!” quite like a calming paper face mask, an afternoon pedicure with a hot soak in lavender bath salts, or an hour long massage. These three separate escapes could not have been more perfect for this usually too busy to slow down, Mama Bear!

Sleeping In & Afternoon Siestas

Daylight savings could not have come at a more ideal time. The break allowed us to ease into springing forward by sleeping in and indulging in extra-long afternoons naps. Most mornings, my alarm rouses me from my sleep by 5:45. Sleeping in until 7:00 or 7:30 was such a blessing. Every afternoon, I tiptoed into Atticus’s room to sneak a peek at him sleeping soundly. So much sweetness cuddled up into a cozy ball!

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Reflecting on my break this evening, brings me great joy. I genuinely feel recharged and reinvigorated to push through the next few months until summer break offers me endless opportunities to slow down.

Looking down at my boys this evening as they playfully enjoyed bath time served yet again as a simple reminder that life is too short not to savor the little things. After all, my little things won’t be little forever. Soon enough they will be bigger and taller than me!

The Things we do as Mothers

March 5, 2019March 5, 2019Baby Bears & Little Bears, Building Each Other Up, Faith, Family, Love, Mama Bears, Parenting, Uncategorized1 Comment

Our everyday lives are series of boxes to check starting with turning off the blaring alarm in the wee hours of the morning all the way until we reset our alarm after a long days work. This then ensures that the blaring alarm will rouse us from our sleep again the following morning. Read more succinctly as, “wash, rinse, repeat!”

I willingly own that not everyone is as regimented and Type A as me. And while being so meticulous does have it’s perks, carrying it out seamlessly has proven to be a more challenging task since becoming a mother. So I thought it would be slightly humorous and a no doubt reaffirming post to construct about the things we find ourselves doing in life to get from Point A to Point B with the path of least resistance possible, i.e. a tantrum throwing toddler or a whiny first grader. And because like me so many of you also walk this daily walk as a Mama Bear, I give you, The Things we do as Mothers to make life work in whatever way we can.

Let’s start with getting out the door every morning on time. In my world that’s leaving by 6:45 a.m. at the latest. Most mornings, thankfully, Liam remembers to set his alarm. On the rare occasion that he forgets and neither Sean or I double checked it the night before, this usually turns into a rather frenetic scene that plays out something like the opening scene of Home Alone when the McAllister’s realize their alarm did not go off on the day they are scheduled to fly to Paris on an early morning flight. I’m running up the stairs often with a toddler in tow as a door flails open, and Liam is rather abruptly roused from his dreamlike state. Very quickly, however, a half awake seven-year-old realizes he’s overslept and gratefully puts the wheels in motion to get himself ready for school.

Other mornings things go off kilter because life with a toddler is anything but predictable. Take for example, Atticus’s most recent ear infection. Trying to get him to drink a thick, chalky antibiotic is about as easy as walking a tight rope with fifty pound weights in either hand and a blindfold around your head.

“No, yucky, mommy! I no drink!”

Because he desperately needs this medication, and I desperately need to get out the door so that I’m not late for work, desperate times call for desperate measures. In this case, I simply resort to good old fashioned bribery. Now mind you, this is happening at 6:30 in the morning. The sun has not even kissed the horizon yet, and I’m digging deep for the bargaining power I need to leverage this deal. So I race to the top shelf of the pantry and return with a Dum Dum lollipop. It’s exactly what I need to close the deal and get my toddler to be compliant.

And later when I walk into daycare at 6:45 a.m. with a toddler sucking happily on his cherry flavored lollipop, I hope no one judges me too harshly for encouraging candy this early in the morning. But alas, it’s all about surviving fellow Mama Bears, and so inevitably we do what life dictates in that moment to survive. It might be candy before breakfast, or pajamas all day, or even screen time in the car just to get your toddler in the car in the first place. Life with a toddler is constant bargaining and using every tool in the toolbox. And on your worst days, it’s leveraging multiple tools to get out the door, but alas I digress.

Life as a mother closely mimics an image I think back to of a book I really liked when I was little, Caps for Sale, by Esphyr Slobodkina. Daily life as a mother is a bit of a chameleon act. We wear a lot of different hats, each with a very distinct purpose. There is the toddler bargaining hat, the Master Chef hat, the bedtime story teller hat, the jack-of-all-trades hat, etc. There are a lot of hats and sometimes we are wearing more than one of them at the same time trying to multi-task our way through it. The expression, “fake it, until you make it” could not be more poignant for us as mothers.

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Photo credit: Pinterest

I will leave you with a final image. One that surely many of you have lived out at some point in your daily life as a mom. After a long day at work, you pull into the garage with the kiddos knowing you need to still prepare dinner, oversee homework, and keep a toddler entertained all in the next twenty minutes so that the rest of your evening routine can fall into place. You are donning all of these unique hats and trying to nail a home run out of the park through every single venture. You channel the patience of Job and the culinary skills of Padma Lakshmi as you set out to accomplish this rather difficult task.

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Now granted you might burn a tortilla along the way or have to pacify a toddler with an episode of Mickey and the Roadster Racers, but for the most part, you do it. And you do it day in and day out because that’s what Mama Bears do. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes you wonder how in the world the ship doesn’t sink with you at the helm. But by the grace of God, the infinite amount of love in your heart, and the other Mama Bears who stand by you in solidarity, you do the things you do to make life in your own home with your cubs and spouses work.

Our little ones won’t always remember the sacrifices we made along the way to make sure they never went without, but they will remember how much they were loved and how special we made them feel along the way. Even on your most difficult day, remember that you’ve got this, Mama Bear. And you have a tribe of other Mama Bears cheering you on along the way. So go out into the world confidently, and do the things we do as mothers!