Happiness – Birds of a Feather

Mindset Matters: You are what you Think

March 11, 2022Counseling & Wellness, Goal setting, HappinessLeave a Comment

We cannot step into the best version of ourselves without recognizing the importance that mindset plays in our daily lives. Our mindset truly has the power to propel us to greatness or plow us into deep despair. Intentionality and optimism play a critical role in how mindset shapes our daily lives.

When we believe in our potential for growth, we are living out a growth mindset.
If we allow our failures to dictate our worth, we are stuck in a fixed mindset.

What you think day in and day out ultimately shapes your thoughts and beliefs. Let’s unpack some of the key aspects that can meaningfully improve our mindset. These inlclude our daily choices, reframing our emotions and how we view failure, grounding statements and affirmations, and self-talk.

DAILY CHOICES

Our life is comprised of a series of daily choices. What time to wake up? What to eat for breakfast? What to wear to work? What kind of physical movement we pursue? Each day presents an endless list of choices!

With each conscience decision we make, our mindset and emotions shape these choices. Sometimes unexpected challenges threaten to change the trajectory of our day. It can be easy to allow negative thoughts to seep in and tarnish our outlook. When we feel like our day started off on the wrong foot or we hit a hangup we didn’t anticipate, our mindset in these situations can significantly impact the direction our day goes.

This is where choice comes into play more than ever. We can overcome our predisposition to allow negative thougths to take hold of our day by choosing to embrace the power of positivity. It certainly isn’t easy to choose optimism in these situations, but the alternative (negative thinking) can derail our whole day if we give it the power to do so.

No day can or ever will be perfect. There will be days fraught with despair, grief, and unhappiness. But even on our darkest days, we can choose to find joy in the little blessings we focus our time and energy on instead of marinating in the negative!

A great way to nurture looking for the little blessings in our day is by keeping a gratitude journal. Every day either at the beginning or end of the day, write down 3 to 5 things you are most grateful for from the last 24 hours. This timeline is important because it keeps us focused on the here and now. This journal can be a great tool on our more challenging days because when we look back on previous entries we can see the positive things that made our day special.

Help reframe negativity with a gratitude journal.

On these more difficult days, joy may simply come from a genuine embrace from a loved one or something beautiful we encounter through nature. The important thing to remember is that our choices set the tone for how our day will unfold. The choice is always ours to make. We can choose joy and embrace a growth mindset or let our intrusive thoughts hold all the power.

REFRAME EMOTIONS & FAILURE

Sometimes our anger, annoyance, and frustration hinders our ability to be the best version of ourselves. In these more difficult moments, we have to be intentional about identifying the negative emotions and feelings that we are experiencing. We should never feel like we have to hide our feelings from others, but we need to work towards reframing these emotions. When we can process them in healthy ways, we can avoid hurting others with harsh words and negative actions.

Compassion, grace, and patience are incredibly positive alternatives to these negative emotions. When we extend compassion and grace to ourselves in the face of adversity and failure, we can start to slowly find peace through acceptance.

Journaling about these stronger feelings and identifying what is causing them is the first step towards better understanding our emotional triggers.

Mood journaling can help you start to recognize patterns of negative thinking and allow you to process emotional triggers.

Integrating grounding statements into your day is also a powerful way to shift your perspective and mindset. A grounding statement I find incredibly valuable when I know I need to reframe a negative emotion is:

“I let go of my _____________________ (negative emotion) and replace it with compassion for myself.”

Reframing our mindset takes patience and practice. We have to be intentional about the work we do to help ourselves learn from our missteps. By accepting our failures as opportunities for growth, we can reframe our negative emotions and slowly start improving our mindset.

SELF-TALK

The way you talk to yourself takes up space within you. Consider how much of a gift talking to yourself kindly and with grace will impact your overall well-being. If your self-talk is filled with negativity, however, you will never be able to reach a state of self-love and self-acceptance.The power rests in your thoughts and words. Honor your strengths, embrace who you are wholeheartedly, and focus on only allowing positive words to take up space inside your beautiful heart and head.

Integrating affirmation work into your day can help you start to build confidence. The key to affirmation work is to believe wholeheartedly in the statement. If you do not believe in what you are saying to yourself, these words will never have the power to help you reach your fullest potential.

The internet is a wealth of knowledge. Use it to find affirmations that speak to the area of your life you hope to improve most. Start with one affirmation that resonates most with you. Write this affirmation on your mirror with a dry erase marker or on a Post It! note. As you brush your teeth every morning and evening, reflect on this affirmation. Then after a few moments of reflection, say it out loud boldly and intentionally.

Continue to use this affirmation until you know in your heart you are living out these words in your daily life. Then find a new affirmation and continue this practice of positive self-talk again.

Improve self-talk by reciting a positive affirmation
you genuinely believe in!

STEP INTO YOUR GREATNESS

When we can acknowledge the power of positivity and start to recognize the value of a growth mindset, the world truly becomes our oyster.

Let this post serve as a simple reminder of your potential and capacity for greatness. You got this!

Step into your greatness by putting your best foot forward!

Student of the Week

April 6, 2019Building Each Other Up, Family, Golden Bear, Happiness, Humor, Love, Parenting, Special People, Uncategorized2 Comments

This week, Liam enjoyed all of the attention and excitement surrounding the coveted title of Student of the Week in his first grade class. With more than three fourths of the school year complete, for an impatient first grader this honor took far longer than he would have liked. When his moment to shine finally came, it is safe to say he relished in every part of it.

Friday culminated the end of a wonderful week for him and allowed me the opportunity to surprise him with an open letter his teacher shared with him and his classmates during the morning meeting. I joined his class towards the end of his lunch period to share two of his favorite books with his class. When I arrived, they were all abuzz about how cool Liam’s letter was. I put a little extra care into the creation of the letter by incorporating it into a PowerPoint presentation filled with pictures and special anecdotes about Liam. It only seemed fitting to format this piece into my latest blog post.

Our Letter to Liam

Dear Liam,

Dad and I are so proud of how much you’ve grown over the last few years. You amaze us with your energy, love of reading, and curiosity.

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Dad and I know being the oldest comes with a lot of responsibility. We are proud of you for accepting this role. You are such a hard worker at home helping us with chores and taking care of your new puppy, Stormtrooper. Thank you for doing such a great job. We appreciate your help so very much.

Liam you truly are an amazing big brother. Atticus is so blessed to have a brother who is kind, caring, helpful, and loving. You understand how important it is to share and help him learn to how to be his best. Thank you for your big heart!

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Your adventurous spirit is something we truly admire about you, Liam. We love how excited you are about the thrill of scaling a fence, racing across the neighborhood on your go kart, or achieving some type of athletic accomplishment. May you continue to enjoy all of life’s great adventures!

Growing up on the beach, I have loved watching you find so much joy on the sandy shores of South Padre Island too. The excitement of building sand castles, riding waves, and collecting sea shells are some of my favorite summer memories with you.

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I know dad loves sharing his love of snowboarding with you. You have really picked up the sport and impress us both with how adventurous you are to carve down mountains in Colorado. We look forward to seeing you continue to improve and excel in the sport.

You astonish us with how much you love sweets. Donuts, candy, cupcakes, milkshakes… you name it, you are all too happy to gobble it up. May your love of sugary sweets continue to bring you endless amounts of happiness.

Liam, your life of leisure is something we admire about you. You are all about the pajama life and would stay in them all day, every day if we let you. As you grow, I hope you do not lose sight of the simple pleasures in life like wearing comfy pajamas from sun up to sun down.

Liam, we hope you continue to work hard, show kindness, and find joy in life. We love you so much and are proud of all of the positive things you do.

All our love,

Mom & Dad

Slowing Down

March 20, 2019Family, Happiness, infant sleep, Mama Bears, Self care, Simple & easy, Special People, Things I love, Uncategorized1 Comment

For educators and students, alike, Spring Break is a welcome reprieve from textbooks, lesson plans, and tedious schedules. It’s a week to sleep in, relax with a good book, travel, or find fun adventures to discover around your neighborhood.

While Sean and Liam jetted off for a snowboard adventure in Colorado, I opted for a more low key break sprinkled with equal parts of quality time with my mom and Atticus, lazy afternoons of endless reading, and low key evenings watching chick flicks. There were also intermittent dashes of spring cleaning and shopping excursions serving up the perfect recipe for an absolutely wonderful break.

Now granted, slowing down is not typically one of my strong suits, but the takeaway from a week devoid of over-scheduled, hectic workdays is simple: sometimes all a girl really needs is a little downtime to recharge and appreciate the beauty in the little things.

Quality Time

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Quality time can come in many different forms. Before Liam and Sean headed north to the mountains and snow, we enjoyed a lazy Sunday sipping coffee at Land of Thousand Hills, spending quality time with the boys engaged in creative play in an imaginative world of superheroes and castles, and enjoying the beautiful weather watching Liam attempt to roller skate around the neighborhood with his little brother hot on his heels on his tricycle. In the hustle and bustle of our busy work schedules, it was so nice to slow things down and just allow the day to unfold as it did.

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For this avid reader, nothing is more enjoyable than sharing my love of reading with my boys. Something as simple as pausing in the middle of a Target run on Monday morning to peruse the literature section for a great read is a perfect example of quality time.

Liam caught up on a new Captain Underpants novel while Atticus found himself lost in a Coco book. As they quietly enjoyed their reading time on the tiled floor, I perused the self-help section for some great new reads: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis, 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal, and The Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness by Andy Puddicombe. These books quickly became page turners for me on the quiet afternoons Atticus spent napping over the break!

Fuss-free Food

Most weekends, I carve out a portion of my time meal planning and grocery shopping for all of the weekly essentials. Spring Break offered a unique opportunity to stray from the usual and enjoy fuss-free meals with ingredients on hand or take-out leftovers spread out over multiple days. I still kept it healthy with dinners of sautéed kale with sliced almonds and dried cherries, but I also channeled my inner child with whole grain Mickey Mouse nuggets enjoyed with an adorable dinner companion sitting in his high chair cheering about macaroni and cheese and orange slices. Scrapping the more elaborate dinners for low key options offered me more quality time with Atticus and less time in the kitchen cooking or doing the dishes!

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Simple Self-Care

Every girl loves a little pampering. Simple forms of self-care provided the perfect opportunity to relax and unwind. Nothing says, “ahhhhhh!” quite like a calming paper face mask, an afternoon pedicure with a hot soak in lavender bath salts, or an hour long massage. These three separate escapes could not have been more perfect for this usually too busy to slow down, Mama Bear!

Sleeping In & Afternoon Siestas

Daylight savings could not have come at a more ideal time. The break allowed us to ease into springing forward by sleeping in and indulging in extra-long afternoons naps. Most mornings, my alarm rouses me from my sleep by 5:45. Sleeping in until 7:00 or 7:30 was such a blessing. Every afternoon, I tiptoed into Atticus’s room to sneak a peek at him sleeping soundly. So much sweetness cuddled up into a cozy ball!

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Reflecting on my break this evening, brings me great joy. I genuinely feel recharged and reinvigorated to push through the next few months until summer break offers me endless opportunities to slow down.

Looking down at my boys this evening as they playfully enjoyed bath time served yet again as a simple reminder that life is too short not to savor the little things. After all, my little things won’t be little forever. Soon enough they will be bigger and taller than me!

Life as a Boy Mom

March 1, 2019Baby Bears & Little Bears, Happiness, Love, Parenting, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Life as a boy mom is a messy, rugged, action-packed adventure. My daily life is a whirlwind of trains, cars, superheroes, dinosaurs, Legos, and a smattering of other boy toys. The learning curve for me was steep, but with practice and time came the ability to easily name off every Marvel superhero and almost every key Transformer robot. I can identify most construction vehicles with ease and have watched Cars so many times I can quote it by memory.

Growing up with a brother, I remember stealing his GI Joe soldiers to pair them with my Barbie dolls. But outside of that, I feel like most of our other play interactions were gender neutral. There was a lot of fence climbing, bike riding, and playground play but I do not remember being enmeshed in his world of Kinect’s or other boy toys. So life as a boy mom has been truly eye-opening for me.

Messy play happens in all homes with young children underfoot. Playrooms and bedrooms often look like a fierce tornado rolled through and upturned all of the well organized crates of toys and let the pieces fall where they may. Walking into the boy’s play zone at any given time is a cacophony of giggles, imaginative play, and a colorful mess of building blocks, coloring books, and a wide array of other odds and ends. And while sometimes I have to take a step back and count to ten so that I don’t overreact to the mess that lays before me, I also find myself smiling at these little moments where two brothers are cultivating a unique bond sharing in these creative, imaginary moments together.

Someday my life as a mother might include a daughter and play with her will be more familiar. I remember all-to-well the tea parties, dressing up my Barbie dolls, and braiding My Little Pony’s rainbow colored mane. But for now, I’m happy embracing my role as a boy mom. It is a crazy, beautiful, ever-changing adventure that rarely slows down. They keep me on my toes as we zip down slippery slides together giggling all the way down, zip lining across a playground holding on for dear life so we don’t fall in a pile of mulch, or screaming at the top of our longs under bridges and laughing at the echo that reverberates deeply long after we stop yelling.

Being a boy mom, brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined. They see the world from a unique vantage point that largely differs from my own as a female, but I appreciate with sincere fondness their incredible curiosity and fierce spirit that emanates from deep within their soul. Boys, may you continue to pursue life with the same zest and gusto you illuminate the world with today!

Through the Eyes of a Child

February 6, 2019#bookworms, Happiness, Humor, Simple & easy, Things I love, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

I often say life would be more pure if we looked at the world through the eyes of a child. Their innocence, heart, enthusiasm, and curiosity set the stage for a worldview that vastly differs from our vantage point as adults. Perhaps though, if we allowed ourselves to be more childlike, our perspective about life would follow suit.

In order to consider this new frame of reference, perhaps we need to recognize what the world of a child truly has to offer. What better way to gain invaluable knowledge and insight than through some of my personal favorite children’s books. Take a walk with me through the colorful and imaginative world of children’s fiction, and see where it might take you!

Beautiful OOPS! by Barney Saltzberg

Let’s start with a Beautiful Oops! A book that resoundingly encourages you to embrace the beautiful mistakes you make in life. What a truly lovely sentiment! If only we could all adopt such a positive approach to human errors. This book undoubtedly appeals to the preschool age child with its unique approach to smudges of paint, torn paper, unexpected spills, and other messy mistakes. However, the theme of this book not only encourages one to adopt a growth mindset but also to have fun growing and learning from the mistakes you make along the way.

Pete the Cat Go, Pete, Go! by James Dean

What better way to learn about taking life in stride and enjoying the experiences as they come your way then from the perspective of a overly optimistic cat named Pete. Rarely does he let stress or pressure steer him from his pursuits in life. Pete embodies kindness, authenticity, friendship, and a glass half full attitude. We could all take a few notes on his idealistic approach to life. It is refreshingly simple and a way of living so many of us could benefit from.

“The roses are just so beautiful… He has to stop to smell them.”

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

This classic favorite encourages us to open ourselves up to love even though you might end up hurt or let down at some point by the ones we love. If only we could allow ourselves to love without condition, selflessly giving every part of ourselves to improve someone else’s life.

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore by William Joyce

This lovely story transports us into a fantastical world of books. The main character spends his time doctoring old books, befriending forgotten novels, and bringing light to neighbors and friends who need a good story to lift up their spirits. Most importantly though, this story highlights the importance of our own life story. The story we write through our words and actions!

“Everyone’s story matters,” said Morris.

Stuck by Oliver Jeffers

Floyd’s story starts when his bright red kite gets stuck in a tree. This comical story demonstrates how problem solving does not always come in a neat, linear package. While his approach could appear flawed, his relentless pursuit to retrieve his kite from the tree allows us to smile and appreciate the beauty and simplicity of a child’s approach to life.

Floyd’s unconventionality and sheer determination illuminate how we, as adults, should also approach difficulties in life. We must continue to persevere, refuse to back down, and ultimately find a solution that works for us.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss

This book is one of the most gifted graduation presents for a very good reason. It opens our eyes to the endless possibilities that lie ahead for us. This book serves as a metaphor for life and illustrates the tight rope we walk balancing life’s responsibilities. It encourages us to take life as it comes, to expect hardship, but to also trust in our abilities to overcome.

Life is not just about the journey. It is about the destinations we end up at whether by chance or by choice. It is about how we embrace the beautiful moments, accept and learn from the difficult parts, and ultimately become the best version of ourselves because of the experiences that mold and shape us!

Sam & Dave Dig a Hole by Mac Barnett

Life is an adventure, and Sam and Dave illuminate this perfectly. Armed with shovels and a backpack with animal crackers and chocolate milk, these two boys set out to discover what lies beneath.

Throughout the book, you wonder how they would feel if they realized how close they are at every turn to uncovering buried treasure. And yet, despite their rigorous efforts, they never actually happen upon any treasure. This viewpoint clearly takes on the persona of an adult because for the boys they find something spectacular because they never started this journey with any expectation other than to have fun.

What a refreshing approach to life Sam and Dave embrace! If only, our adult selves could look at life through the same lens. Life would be “pretty spectacular.”

In my Heart A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek

The main character of this book describes the big and little feelings she encounters every day. She encourages her readers to consider their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions on her creative journey embracing and accepting these feelings. She unravels a story so similar to what each and every one of us encounters on a daily basis: anger, hope, happiness, fear, humor, shyness, courage, peace, and hurt. Her simplistic approach to very real and oftentimes deep feelings spotlights the realness and importance these emotions play in our own lives. If we allowed ourselves to consider our emotions through the eyes of a child, perhaps we could also give ourselves permission to acknowledge these feelings and how they shape and propel us through life.

“My heart is full of feelings.”

The Girl who Ran by Frances Poletti & Kristina Yee

Literature should inspire us and motivate us to aspire for more. This book checks all the boxes for a truly inspirational read based on a very real heroine, Bobbi Gibb, the first woman to run the Boston Marathon. This book is a must read for all women no matter how young or old because it masterfully and powerfully encourages us to refuse to settle for anything less than our best. No glass ceiling, no male authority figure, no obstacle at all can stand in the way of the dreams we have for ourselves as women. Never settle!

“She ran with a strength only hope can inspire, just her and the sound of the wind in the fire.”

What the Dinosaurs did Last Night by Refe & Susan Tuma

Everyone needs humor in their lives. The more the better. Bring on the laugh lines, the belly laughs, and the absurdities of a fantastical, fictional story that will take you on a wild and messy adventure. But beware, the toy dinosaurs living in your children’s storage bins are waiting to wreak havoc on your home.

This book truly does bring a smile to your face as you consider the outrageous adventures a house full of toy dinosaurs can bring under one roof. Children, perhaps because they are unencumbered by the stresses of life, laugh often and with great gusto. Our lives, as adults, would be greatly changed for the better, if we also adopted this ability to laugh out loud more often and worry less about the little things.

Normal Norman by Tara Lazar

This final book brings everything full circle with regards to approaching life as our children do. So often we outgrow the innocence and naivety that is an innate part of life as children. We allow our perceptions of what others will think to dictate how we live out our lives as adults. We worry too much about their opinions and their thoughts that we somehow lose sight of true selves.

Normal Norman illustrates just how easy it is for others to try and put us in a neat and tidy box. But we cannot and should not allow anyone else to make us feel like we need to be a different version of ourselves. Authenticity is far more valuable than any opinion someone else will ever have of us.

” ‘Normal’ is impossible to define.”

While the intricacies of life do not always allow us to embrace life in a childlike manner, we should at least consider donning this hat when we can. After all, a life filled with laughter, vivid colors, and fantastical characters would make for a far more intriguing plot line then some of the real world drudgery that we often have to rub elbows with.

If life were a children’s book, it would be a much more pleasurable read than the realities of our non-fiction lives. With that being said, it’s never too late to rewrite our story!

Self Care Sunday

February 3, 2019Counseling & Wellness, Happiness, Self care, Uncategorized1 Comment

The practice of self care is a critical part of our overall well being. While the hustle and bustle of life as a wife and mother does not always lend itself to pursuing self care faithfully, it is something that truly should be at the forefront of our priorities. The pursuit of self care is not selfish but rather well-intentioned time that allows us to recharge and regroup.

Photo credit: Chantelle Grady, Pinterest

As a counselor, I find myself always addressing this with students and clients. Oftentimes their stress and anxiety levels are magnified because they do not regularly make time for themselves. Only recently have I come to truly appreciate the time I dedicate to self care. Making time for myself allows me to be more mindful and grateful for purposeful time spent alone. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by our day-to-day and try to guilt ourselves away from making time to unwind when the laundry list of to do’s lingers overhead.

While the practice of self care may sound daunting, it starts with some purposeful reflection. Self care will look and feel different for each and every one of us. If you are an avid reader, for example, self care may be an afternoon in a comfortable chair, wrapped in a cozy blanket paired with a steaming cup of hot tea and a good read. For the avid athlete, self care might be a slower paced workout enjoying a relaxing walk around a beautiful lake or a light hike getting lost in a picturesque trail of lush greenery.

The Ascent

Photo credit: The Ascent

Self care truly can be anything that allows you time to unwind and purposefully recharge your batteries. Give yourself permission to light some candles and enjoy a hot bubble bath after your children are tucked in for the night. Make an effort to carve out at least one opportunity a week for self care. Many have embraced starting the week off with self care Sunday.

Ted.com Love yourself

Photo credit: Ted.com

The day and pursuit do not matter as much as carving out the time for you. Self care starts with you and can start today. I encourage you to put this intentional practice into motion. Not only will you experience the powerful benefits of self care but everyone else in your immediate circle will reap the benefits too. After all, a more patient, more grateful, more compassionate, and more kind wife and mother can only have a positive impact on those she shares her time and love with every day.

Follow your Heart

January 27, 2019Building Each Other Up, Goal setting, Happiness, Mama Bears, Opportunities, Things I love, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Blogging serves as a creative outlet for me. A way for me to touch people’s lives with my words and time stamp important memories in my life. For those of you who have followed me faithfully since A Mama Bear & Her Cubs was first created in late July 2017 , you’ve likely noticed an ebb and flow in the frequency of my posts.

To create a quality blog, it takes great dedication, meaningful content, and powerful images. Because of my Type A personality and perfectionist tendencies, I toil over the words until they are perfect. Mind you this is typically happening at the end of a long work day or while my two boys take their midday break for a nap or quiet time. I am often my toughest critic and therefore do not always feel like my words are ready for publication. In my busiest of times, I don’t always find the inspiration needed to create quality pieces. These are the moments that lead to a dip in my blog content.

I find my family life and the little things that I encounter on a daily basis to be the best resource for content. Despite the fact that I faithfully maintain a blog, I rarely make time to discover new blogs. Mostly because I worry that the content I happen upon on other blogs may detract from my own creative process. This year to help me channel my thoughts and keep content fresh, I started keeping a notebook on hand to jot down ideas and things that inspire me along the way. This springboard for ideas has allowed me to easily put pen to paper (or more accurately clinking keys on my keyboard to piece together a blog post).

A Mama Bear & Her Cubs has slowly built a following, mostly from likeminded Mama Bears in my collective circles of friends and family. Because of social media, some of my posts have been shared and reposted on other pages and have reached record breaking views for me. I am sure that I could work harder to build my readership and even consider partnering with advertisers like so many other bloggers do. I choose, however, to focus on this blog for my own personal well-being and for the well-being of other women who read and find inspiration in my words.

Unfortunately we live in a culture where so often women are breaking other women down. I have focused my content on positivity because quite frankly we need more of that in our world and a whole lot less mean girl drama.

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Today’s post is probably the most basic and least powerful I’ve written since the inception of A Mama Bear & Her Cubs. But as always, there is a purpose and intention in the content I choose. My hope is that in reading today’s blog post, you will recognize the importance of pursuing your own passions in life. Do more of what makes you happy whether that’s through cooking, yoga, crafting, trail running, salsa dancing, yodeling…

Carve out time for the things that matter most to you. Don’t let your dreams and life pursuits be stifled because of a full-time job, responsibilities as a wife and mother, or anything else that might stand in your way. Take time to share, learn, and grow every day because your best self will allow you to be your best for the ones you love and care for every day. Be bold and follow your heart!

A Beautiful Thing Happens…

January 26, 2019Family, Happiness, Love, Mama Bears, Special People, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

In life, we do not have the luxury of choosing our family. We share the same DNA and other genetic traits, but we may not always share the same interests and life pursuits. Friendship, on the other hand, offers a unique and beautiful opportunity that grows and thrives because we have the distinct privilege to pick our tribe.

Friendships blossom and grow through hours and hours of shared laughter, tears (both happy and sad), and countless glasses of wine and coffee commiserating about our hopes and dreams- both for ourselves and for one another. If we’re lucky, these friendships withstand the test of time growing and evolving as we do from childhood, to early adulthood, into midlife, and beyond.

Growing up, I admired and aspired to have the kind of powerful friend circles my mother kept. Women who were strong, beautiful, and hardworking. They were fierce women who balanced full-time careers, raising children, and making time to celebrate in each other’s special moments. These women took me under their wing and encouraged me along the way to pursue my dreams in life.

Although time zones and state lines separated these best friends from one another. Their friendship continues to thrive and grow some forty plus years since it began. We (my brother and I, the Bailey sisters, Ayala brothers, and Walker brothers) have all grown up as though we were a family calling ourselves cousins despite the fact that we do not share a common blood line. Most of us are married and raising our own babies now. And while state lines and time zones may stand in the way of us seeing one other with more regularity, our friendships continue to endure. We text often sharing anecdotes about motherhood. Our mothers and “aunties” chime in with words of affirmation and remind us that they too endured seasons of hardship as young mothers.

I value this shared friendship that I am blessed to be an intricate part of- a shared friendship that unites two generations of women. I still find myself deeply admiring the incredible friendship that roots these women together. In principle, we are not family and yet we love, support, and care for one another in exactly the same manner families do.

In reflecting on this sisterhood I share with my mother’s best friends and their daughters, I find myself acknowledging a very powerful theme. A beautiful thing happens when your mother’s circle of friends becomes yours too. The circle of trust widens, the bonds deepen, and the laughter, support, and friendships continue to grow!

New Year’s Revolutions

January 16, 2019Baby Bears & Little Bears, Family, Goal setting, Happiness, Mama Bears, Opportunities, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Today marks the midway point of January. Although we’re already fifteen days into 2019, it’s never to late to reflect on last year and look forward to what lies ahead. This year as Liam and I discussed the notion of resolutions going into the new year, in true Liam fashion he forgot the actual word and instead dubbed it a new year’s revolution. Now granted we haven’t started a war with the new year but perhaps we should consider that our resolutions if orchestrated properly can have a truly revolutionary impact on our lives.

Traditionally new year’s resolutions revolve around improved health, fitness, and integrating new habits in our lives that will make life simpler and less stressful. I compiled a list of few I have already integrated into my life or are striving towards accomplishing in the new year.

1. Smile More

Research shows that smiling boosts your immune system because your whole body relaxes when you offer up a grin. When you have two incredibly adorable baby bears like these, it’s kind of hard not to smile. Think about how impactful a smile can be to someone who might be having a rough day. Spread a little joy in one of its simplest and purest forms by passing along a smile to someone you see today.

2. Soak it In

Find moments to pause and soak it all in. Think how quickly 2018 flew by and how we’re already halfway through January. Life is always full of busy moments and to do’s. Allow yourself the opportunity to stop and soak in the little moments. Before you know it, your newborn is a toddler, then a kindergartener, then a tween… time just continues to inch forward whether we want it to or not. So pause to savor those little moments before they are gone in an instant. If you’re too busy trying to accomplish the laundry list of chores piling up or scrolling through your social media feed though, you’ll miss these little glimpses of childlike innocence. Take time to be present and enjoy the company you are keeping.

3. Sip & Savor

So often we are guzzling our morning coffee or inhaling lunch as we multi-task at work. In this new year, make time to sip and savor the food you have in front of you. Indulge in the flavors and aromas that accompany a great meal or an incredible glass of wine. Build community and relish in the food and company at your table.

This year for New Year’s, Sean and I spent a quiet evening after the boys went to bed making pasta from scratch. The homemade noodles tossed in garlic lemon butter sauce paired perfectly with our wine and cheese plate. Taking a step back to appreciate the food and refreshments we put in our bodies and truly marinating in the flavors allows us to savor our food without overindulging.

4. Slow Down

No one needs to meditate on this phrase more than me. It’s been something I’ve struggled with for years because I’m such a do’er. This, however, has been at the forefront of my intentions for how my 2019 needs to look and feel differently than last year and all of the years before that.

Slowing down starts with recognizing and valuing the importance of self-care. Make time for you every single day so that you have more positive parts of yourself to offer to others. For me, this comes in many forms: bubble baths, hot tea, getting lost in a good book, and soaking in all of the hugs and cuddles I can coax out of a too cool 1st grader and a topsy turvy toddler.

5. Celebrate Accomplishments

Setting goals and celebrating accomplishments is a critical part of achieving success. Striving to be our best comes from hard work, determination, and a desire to be our best. My favorite way to celebrate a podium finish is with high fives, French fries, and champagne. Taking time to celebrate these things allows us to recognize our strengths and appreciate our gifts.

For our little ones, it is also a critical way to build self-esteem and instill a sense of pride in our children. Celebrate your little victories and share these successes with those you are closest too. After all, their support likely contributed in some way to your success!

6. G.O.A.T.

2019 is ripe for the taking. Embrace this new year with childlike abandon. Offer gratitude for your blessings. Make time for the people you love and the pursuits that are most important to you. Smile through the good and the bad. Carve out time every day for a little rest and relaxation. Implementing healthy habits and slowing down to soak in the little things will set you up for the Greatest (Year) Of All Time. So go out there and be revolutionary!

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed

November 24, 2018Faith, Family, Happiness, Holiday spirit, Love, Mama Bears, Marriage & Husbands, Parenting, Special People, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Each year, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of a season of gratitude. An opportunity for us to pause, reflect, and offer thanks for the blessings we have in our lives. It is a day of laborious food preparation, over indulgence, and ultimately a day of breaking bread with some of your nearest and dearest.

With a spread of turkey, dressing, a plethora of baked sides, and of course some indulgent sweets, this years Thanksgiving did not disappoint. As the merriment continues into the season of Christmas, I thought a post that highlighted gratitude and blessings was in order.

I’M THANKFUL…

For authentic friends who I know have my back through thick and thin. Days, weeks, and months might keep us apart but no matter how busy our lives are or how far apart we might be, we keep each other in our hearts. Sometimes it’s a quick text or phone call to carry us through the longer patches when we don’t see one another, but it’s in these simple exchanges that our friendships continues to flourish because true friendship outlasts distance, space, and time.

So to my truest and bluest (you know exactly who you are), thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, sincerity, and support. I carry you in my heart always. (A special I love you to Stephanie Kahl, because I couldn’t find a recent picture of us.)

I’M GRATEFUL

Living each day with a grateful heart makes each day that much more of a gift. It is truly in the little things than we can appreciate and offer gratitude for the richness in our lives. I have so many things to offer thanks and gratitude for. Truly the most precious gifts though resonate for me with my family. I am incredibly grateful for an immediate and extended family who love me beyond measure. I owe a special amount of gratitude though to a few key individuals.

I am grateful for a a mother who truly offers me unconditional love and support. She is present and authentic and in so many amazing ways the kind of woman, mother, and friend I aspire to be each and every day. She emanates a natural beauty that few can pull off at any age. She makes me want to be a better person each and every day. Even when I fall short, I know I can count on her to pull me up with her wisdom and kindness. I cannot say enough positive things about the woman I hold in the highest regard. Mom, thank you today, tomorrow, and always for being such a beautiful example for me.

I offer gratitude to my husband who despite being my polar opposite inspires and challenges me to try to find balance in my life. He knows how hard I push myself and how high my expectations are as a wife and mother. When I least expect it, he surprises me with kind words and appreciation that take the weight of the world off of my shoulders.

My grateful heart bursts at the seams for my two sweet boys. Being your mother is the greatest gift a woman could ask for. You challenge me every day to be my best. I pray every day for the patience, kindness, and love to be the best mother I can be. I delight most in your beautiful smiles and love for one another. My heart is full loving you both day in and day out. I know I will mess up in my pursuit to be the best mom, but please know that through it all I love you with my whole heart and want nothing but the absolute best for each of you. Each and every day, my biggest hope for you is to be your best self. Be kind, love big, and do your best!

I’M BLESSED

Life truly is more meaningful when you count your blessings every single day. I have so much to be grateful for including my health, the love of family, a career I find incredibly rewarding, and the gift of running. My hope in writing this post first and foremost is to offer my sincerest appreciation to the many special people in my life who hold a dear place in my heart. If you aren’t included in one of my pictures, it means I just couldn’t find one to use or recognized that I was liable to make my old Mac crash with the importing and uploading of too many photos.

Life is a precious gift. Thank you for being on this journey through life with me. Thank you for your unwavering support, beautiful friendships, and heartfelt memories. As we all move into the season of Advent, let us remember to count our blessings and offer gratitude to the people who have impacted our lives in positive ways.