The Appreciation Room

Lent offers many opportunities for introspection and self-reflection. Through the practice of fasting, prayer, or abstinence, one can certainly learn a lot about self-control, sacrifice, and personal growth. Every year, I find myself reflecting on an area of my life that needs the most growth. This year I decided to improve my role as a wife, partner, and friend to my husband. In the hustle and bustle of life as a working mother, I often have little time to cultivate and improve in my role as a spouse. To help me in this spiritual journey, I’ve implored the help of a book that integrates scripture and a daily reading that focuses in on a specific character trait to contemplate and practice.

I found today’s reading to be particularly insightful. It discussed how each of us has an Appreciation Room and a Depreciation Room for our spouse. The Appreciation Room holds all of the positive memories and qualities that make our spouse stand out. Contrarily, the Depreciation Room possesses all of the negative qualities that tarnish our view of our spouse. Naturally we benefit most from our time in the Appreciation Room- a place we feel loved, content, and happy. Allowing ourselves time in the Depreciation Room, on the other hand, can be hazardous to our marriage. If we allow ourselves to dwell, revisit, or marinate in this negative place, it becomes very difficult to see our spouse in a positive light.

Sometimes it’s a bad moment, a bad day, or a bad week with our spouse that draws us towards the Depreciation Room. We’ve all been here at one time or another. It’s easy to allow our anger to fester and grow into resentment if we let it. After all, negativity only creates more negativity. Today’s reading opened a floodgate of thoughts and emotions for me and really forced me to come to terms with my own thoughts and actions. Do I allow myself enough time in the Appreciation Room to recognize and appreciate the amazing man who picked me to be his partner in life? Have I taken him for granted more times than I’d like to admit?

In life there’s no time like the present, to reflect on the little things our spouses bring to the table every day to make us feel special and loved. In a two parent home, it works better when you have a partner who works with you and helps you find balance and demonstrates appreciation for your efforts. It is so very easy to get caught up in the petty things that can cause us to lose focus on who and what is most important in life.

We would all profoundly benefit from revisiting the Appreciation Room of our spouse with more frequency. Pausing in the doorway to reflect on their kind heart, genuine smile, and the amazing gift of having their hand to hold in this crazy, infinitely beautiful journey called life. Treasuring this goodness will pay you back in dividends over the long haul. We all know there will be days when marriage feels like a challenge, but putting our trust in the good will lead us away from the negative thoughts attached to these more trying times.

Ladies, we’re human. We misstep. We make mistakes. We don’t always let our best selves shine through. But every day offers us the unique opportunity to start each day with a grateful heart. Living it fully, loving the ones most precious in our lives with our whole hearts, and extending gratitude to our husbands for their support, friendship, and love. Make time to visit your Appreciation Room and let is help you guide your heart to a more positive place with your spouse. #thelovedare