An Honest Look at Marriage

Today marks our two year wedding anniversary. While there are a wealth of amazing memories that I could easily reflect on, today’s post will highlight the more real moments of marriage. For those of you in a long term relationship or marriage with your significant other, you know as well as I do that co-habitating and/or co-parenting with your partner is anything but a cake walk.

From the “I do’s” to the to-do’s, marriage is an ever-changing journey that challenges, tests, and illuminates our greatest strengths and weaknesses. After the mystique and beauty of the honeymoon, real life settles in and the less than ideal characteristics of our partners and ourselves, for that matter, start to show their true colors. Balancing a career, children, personal interests, and caring for a marriage, requires deliberate effort, calculated patience, and unconditional love.

Laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, general housekeeping, cooking, and all of the other components of managing a house can create tension if one partner feels like they are carrying more weight than the other. Our little people have big needs that require constant supervision and attention. Bills, unexpected expenses, and so many other details can cloud our perspective and keep us from taking in the beautiful moments that happen in the midst of all of this.

Marriage is difficult. It takes work that requires frequent introspection, a willingness to compromise, and a desire to honor your commitments to your partnership without exception. Through it all, we have to find ways to look beyond the hard times and reflect on the foundations that built our love story. Carry their love in your heart always. Cherish their help and honor them with gratitude and appreciation. Never stop believing in the person you promised your life too.

Today and every day is an opportunity to grow in love with your husband or wife. Let bygones be bygones and let true love shine through. Life is too short to let resentment take hold of our marriage. Each new day offers us a chance to reconnect, restore, and rebuild any foundational issues our marriage may be enduring. An open mind and an open heart are an integral part of a strong partnership. Live each day in love and let the little things go. In the end, they really aren’t worth our time.

Here’s to loving our other half with our whole hearts. Here’s to putting our best foot forward to be the best wife, mother, partner, and friend we can be. Here’s to saying, “yes,” even when we’d rather say, “no!” Here’s to loving deeply and forgiving often. Here’s to the beautifully chaotic love story that is marriage.

wedding day

Marriage is about becoming a team. You’re going to spend the rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you’ll always figure out a way to get through it. – Nicholas Sparks

The Beauty in Imperfections

Parenting is an intricate tapestry tied together with delicate stitches of many varying colors. As parents, we are called to guide our children to be their best selves. This task is one we do not take lightly. It requires infinite amounts of patience, immeasurable amounts of love, and unwavering support every step of the way.

Even with all of these tools in our back pocket, sometimes our children will misstep. These moments will test our wills and make us question our parenting abilities. For mothers in particular, this can prove to be a deeply personal struggle. The internal monologue in our heads can ring loud and often make us feel like we’re somehow letting our children down by not serving as a better model along the way.

But just like us, our children are human. Like us, they make mistakes of varying degrees each and every day. For our children, the takeaway at the end of the misstep is the most important part of the journey. An integral part of their personal growth comes from recognizing and accepting the error they made. With acceptance, they can put their best foot forward to make a more positive choice when they find themselves in a similar situation. Children, however, are not always quick learners. Their innate curiosity may guide them to push boundaries and test limits to see if the outcome or consequence will change.

Through it all, our role as parents should never waiver. We are there to love, support, model, and guide our children every step of the way. When they fail, we pick them up, dust them off, sprinkle in words of wisdom, and send them back out into the world to do it all over again.

Remember, Mama Bears, parenthood is a calling that comes with immense power and infinitesimal amounts of responsibility. There is no manual to consult for the answers to our lingering questions about raising amazing children. We can only ever take it one-day-at-a-time. Love fiercely, support deeply, and accept our own faults as parents. We are not perfect parents so we cannot expect to have perfect children. And if we look closely enough we will recognize how much beauty truly lies in life’s imperfections!

Off the Radar

Since my last post, life has been a whirlwind of beautiful moments and amazing milestones. To catch everyone up to speed, I’d like to showcase some of the highlights that have had me flying high for the last two weeks.


After nine long months of waiting, the State Board of Texas finally granted me licensure as a Licensed Professional Counselor Intern. I can now start seeing clients under the supervision of Tiffany Priska, LPC-S. I am eager to expand my experience in private practice and look forward to learning the business side of private practice at Serenity Counseling of Cypress. As I continue my work as a school counselor at St. John XXIII College Preparatory, I will slowly start to build a list of clients until I’ve earned the 3,000 hours required by the state to drop the “I” and be fully licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I know I have my work cut out for me, but I look forward to the opportunity to grow professionally.



Training alongside the high school boys I’ve been coaching for track has clearly paid off. I was grateful for an incredibly strong showing at the Steps for Students 5K, an annual race and fundraiser for Catholic schools in the Houston area. Race day conditions were humid and drizzly, but these conditions didn’t slow me down. I finished the race in 18:40, placing 5th overall and crossing the finish line as the first overall female. The silver lining to an already great morning was discovering a stack of 50 Chick-Fil-A gift cards in my swag bag for being the overall female. It looks like I’ll be enjoying a sandwich or 8 count nuggets on them for the next year!



Last Friday, Liam celebrated the 100th day of school with a number themed party in his classroom. All kindergarteners made their own shirts beforehand to showcase their creativity. Using his index finger and an assortment of acrylic paints, he created a colorful rainbow and his name with 100 personalized finger prints. He beamed with pride about getting to wear his shirt to school. The day included games, activities, and arts and crafts that all centered around the number 100.


Tomorrow he has his first field trip to the Oil Ranch. Tucking him in tonight, he told me how he wished it was already morning so that he could go on his trip. Clearly our little kindergartener is an eager beaver. This year it has been such a joy watching him grow academically and socially. I look forward to hearing all about his field trip adventure tomorrow after school.


Last weekend, my parents drove up to watch the boys, so Sean and I could enjoy a long weekend in Las Vegas. Between the amazing food, shows, and people watching, there was never a dull moment.

The highlights of the trip include a relaxing stay at the Bellagio, an impromptu dinner at Hell’s Kitchen (a cancellation opened the door unexpectedly for us to get a table as walk ins), and amazing entertainment (Cirque de Soleil’s O, Aces of Comedy featuring Ray Romano & David Spade, and The Million Dollar Piano Man: Elton John).

A getaway with your spouse is always a wonderful way to reconnect. Vegas proved to be the perfect opportunity for just that!



Today our Baby Bear celebrated his 16 months of life with a new milestone- walking. This sweet boy has been trying to embrace this feat for a few weeks now, but I can say with confidence and certainty that he is officially on the move now. This Mama Bear couldn’t be more proud seeing him walk across the floor towards me beaming with pride. He’ll be running alongside me before I know it!


I appreciate your patience and understanding about my temporary hiatus from blogging. I’m eager to share some new recipes and blog about other new adventures very soon. Until next time…

The Appreciation Room

Lent offers many opportunities for introspection and self-reflection. Through the practice of fasting, prayer, or abstinence, one can certainly learn a lot about self-control, sacrifice, and personal growth. Every year, I find myself reflecting on an area of my life that needs the most growth. This year I decided to improve my role as a wife, partner, and friend to my husband. In the hustle and bustle of life as a working mother, I often have little time to cultivate and improve in my role as a spouse. To help me in this spiritual journey, I’ve implored the help of a book that integrates scripture and a daily reading that focuses in on a specific character trait to contemplate and practice.

I found today’s reading to be particularly insightful. It discussed how each of us has an Appreciation Room and a Depreciation Room for our spouse. The Appreciation Room holds all of the positive memories and qualities that make our spouse stand out. Contrarily, the Depreciation Room possesses all of the negative qualities that tarnish our view of our spouse. Naturally we benefit most from our time in the Appreciation Room- a place we feel loved, content, and happy. Allowing ourselves time in the Depreciation Room, on the other hand, can be hazardous to our marriage. If we allow ourselves to dwell, revisit, or marinate in this negative place, it becomes very difficult to see our spouse in a positive light.

Sometimes it’s a bad moment, a bad day, or a bad week with our spouse that draws us towards the Depreciation Room. We’ve all been here at one time or another. It’s easy to allow our anger to fester and grow into resentment if we let it. After all, negativity only creates more negativity. Today’s reading opened a floodgate of thoughts and emotions for me and really forced me to come to terms with my own thoughts and actions. Do I allow myself enough time in the Appreciation Room to recognize and appreciate the amazing man who picked me to be his partner in life? Have I taken him for granted more times than I’d like to admit?

In life there’s no time like the present, to reflect on the little things our spouses bring to the table every day to make us feel special and loved. In a two parent home, it works better when you have a partner who works with you and helps you find balance and demonstrates appreciation for your efforts. It is so very easy to get caught up in the petty things that can cause us to lose focus on who and what is most important in life.

We would all profoundly benefit from revisiting the Appreciation Room of our spouse with more frequency. Pausing in the doorway to reflect on their kind heart, genuine smile, and the amazing gift of having their hand to hold in this crazy, infinitely beautiful journey called life. Treasuring this goodness will pay you back in dividends over the long haul. We all know there will be days when marriage feels like a challenge, but putting our trust in the good will lead us away from the negative thoughts attached to these more trying times.

Ladies, we’re human. We misstep. We make mistakes. We don’t always let our best selves shine through. But every day offers us the unique opportunity to start each day with a grateful heart. Living it fully, loving the ones most precious in our lives with our whole hearts, and extending gratitude to our husbands for their support, friendship, and love. Make time to visit your Appreciation Room and let is help you guide your heart to a more positive place with your spouse. #thelovedare

Fat Tuesday

Today commemorates Fat Tuesday, a day of indulgence before the somberness of Lent sets in tomorrow with Ash Wednesday. In our den, we’ve been celebrating Fat Tuesday for the last few years. Typically Liam and I enjoy a feast of sorts that includes take out, a lavish dessert, and a sprinkling of other junk food items throughout the day like glazed donuts, waffle fries, and something carbonated and sugary to wash it all down.

This year we kicked things off a few days early with a King’s Cake.Atticus, Liam, and I savored it’s subtle sweetness and gooey cinnamon. However Liam and I were disappointed that our cake didn’t include a plastic baby Jesus tucked away between the layers of pastry and icing.

Yesterday on the eve of Fat Tuesday as we sat around the dinner table, Liam looked at me with his bright blue eyes and a mischievous grin and said, “So Mom, since tomorrow is Fat Tuesday that means I can have cake for dinner and then pick a dessert too!” His wittiness practically brought me to tears I was laughing so hard as I imagined how a dinner that started with cake might end.

Last night I suggested Domino’s delivery to start off our Fat Tuesday because Liam lives for two things in life: pepperoni pizza and dessert. I figured this would be a must on our Fat Tuesday menu. So his response actually caught me by surprise. “Mom, we have pizza all the time. It’s not special enough for Fat Tuesday.” This kid was setting the bar high, and I worried I’d disappoint him if I didn’t deliver at least on the dessert side of things.

Fast forward almost twenty-four hours later, as track practice started to wind down I realized I needed to lock down our Fat Tuesday treat. My lightbulb, “aha” moment hit as I was exiting 290 en route to pick up the boys from daycare. A frozen yogurt cake from Orange Leaf! I walked into the store on a mission as I perused the delicate cakes adorned with fluffy whipped cream. My shining star was a birthday confetti round cake with rainbow sprinkles. Mama Bear for the win!

As we walked out of daycare towards the car, I told Liam I found the perfect treat for our Fat Tuesday dinner. I watched his eyes get as big as saucers and his lips turn up in a perfectly gigantic grin as I described the frozen yogurt cake that lay carefully tucked on the floorboard on the passenger side of the car.

After a long day at work topped off with track practice, I settled on leftovers, which I hoped wouldn’t be too disappointing for Liam. Thankfully we both enjoyed the coconut curry soup I’d prepared earlier in the week. As Liam and Atticus finished their meal, I paraded the cake across the kitchen and gently set it down in front of them. Their reaction was priceless- two boys all to eager to indulge in the frozen wonder that lay before them.


Dinner ended on a high note with lots of smiles, whipped cream mustaches, and a lot of baby requests for, “more, more, more!” The littlest things in life really can be incredibly powerful ways of connecting with the people you love most in life. Liam clearly touched by the simple gesture even made me a handmade Valentine before bed. My cup runneth over!


Unwavering, Unconditional, & Unfaltering

This week work proved to be incredibly challenging. On more than one occasion, I left work holding back tears that came pouring out as soon as I hit the freeway. Being a counselor, places difficult situations in your lap almost every day. In the course of a day, you are often pulled in numerous directions. It can be emotionally draining and oftentimes thankless work, but my heart guides me every step of the way.

As a mother, my heart broke this week for two students I have been working with all year. Motherhood is a gift, I am so incredibly blessed to have in my life. In sharing stories with my friends who are mothers, all of them share the same sentimentality. We love our children deeply, fiercely, and unconditionally. Motherhood is not always a cakewalk, but whether our children are fifteen months old or fifteen, our children need us to walk with them, accept them, respect them, and love them.

Maintaining confidentiality is an important part of my role as a counselor, so I cannot get into specifics as to why my heart goes out to these students. However I can encourage and motivate the mothers reading this to consider what I’m about to say so that their children alway feel love and supported.

Motherhood tests us each and every single day. Our children will make mistakes, but more importantly we will too. Forgiveness is such an important part of our role as mothers. First we must forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, and then we must forgive our children for theirs.

As our children get older, they will push boundaries more than we might like. They might frustrate us and at times anger us. Don’t lose heart, Mama Bears. Remember it’s part of the job description. We might be tempted to cast judgement in our times of anger. We might have a hard time holding our tongue. It will take incredible self-control, but we absolutely must be mindful of what we say to our children. We cannot take back what we say. Our words have great power and can create mistrust and great heartache for our children. We will not always agree with our children’s actions, decisions, or lifestyle choices. No matter what though, they are our children. We must remember every step of the way how our children deserve to feel safe, secure, and supported.

Our work as a mother requires unwavering patience, unconditional love, and unfaltering support. In infancy, while toddling, growing into childhood, and then blossoming into adolescence, our children need their mother’s love in its purest and truest form. My work with high school students has made that more evident than ever. Be that pillar of support and love they so desperately need even when they seem too big to need it anymore. They will forever be our babies, and our babies will always need their mamas!


An Open Letter to Myself

Allowing ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable isn’t always easy. Tonight’s open letter to myself offers a candid and heartfelt message of self love and working through challenging moments in our life. It’s addressed to me, but I sincerely believe many of the women who read this post may see themselves in parts of this letter. Writing this for me proved to be incredibly cathartic. My hope is that in reading this letter, you too walk away recognizing how beautiful, accomplished, and amazing you are.

Dearest Heidi,

I know you set out every single day to be your very best self. There are times when you fall short of your expectations and no one is harder on you then when you let the thoughts in your head marinate. You often stew in those thoughts for far too long and carry them around until they feel burdensome and heavy.

Cut yourself some slack. You do so many wonderful things for your family, friends, colleagues, and students. You’re going to slip up sometimes. You’re going to walk into a bad day and it might take an extra glass of wine, an extra mile, or a long, hot bath to walk out of that bad day. But like every challenge you’ve ever met, you will get through it.

Like so many women who have come before you and like so many who will come after you, sometimes you just need to get out of your own head. Walk away from the challenge to regain your composure and work up the courage to start tackling it again. Don’t forget to lean on the people who love you and care about you. You look out for those you love and care about, and those beautiful people who you call friends are there to do the same when you need a little push, some extra reassurance, or a shoulder to cry on. At its core, that’s what friendship is for- lean into it, take the support when you need it, and return the favor when it’s your turn to catch them when they’re down!

You are an amazing woman, but you still need to remember that you are not a superhuman. Some days you will misstep. In your frustration, you might raise your voice when your children test your patience. Don’t lose heart. This doesn’t make you a bad mother. Motherhood will test you in ways you never knew imaginable. There will be days you want to pull your hair out, and there will be days where you wish the beautiful moments with your family didn’t ever have to end. Take it one day at a time. Soak it all up; the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.  As much as you want to do it all. Sometimes something has to give. If it means the dirty dishes stay in the sink overnight or the laundry stays in the dryer for a few extra days until you find the time to fold it, so be it. There will always be tomorrow until there isn’t. Fixating over every little to do is only going to weigh you down.

Love yourself inside and out. Do more of what makes you happy. Surround yourself with positive people. Dream big and work hard. Love fiercely and tell the people in your life who matter the most how much you love them. Give thanks and offer gratitude for your blessings. Respect others even when you may not see eye-to-eye with them. Be proud of who you are. Shower your loved ones with smiles, love, and simple acts of kindness. Cook often. Enjoy good wine with even better company! Kiss your children and your husband every single day.

Remember that every day is a blank slate. The opportunity to hit restart and do it all over again. Slow down enough to savor the little things before you blink and they’re gone. Do one thing for yourself every day- even if it’s just appreciating a sunset in solitude or savoring a cup of coffee before everyone else in the house is awake. Put your best foot forward every day, and get out there and do you!


With love,

Mama Bear