Most nights when I come back in after my run the house is serenely quiet and dark. The boys are sleeping soundly and Sean is often engrossed in a show in our bedroom. I often pause as I shut the door behind me taking it all in. It’s a simple pause in a normally busy day that signals the final stretch of my day.
Tonight however when I arrived home, Sean was still upstairs with Liam and Atticus was wailing at the top of my lungs. As soon as I walked in, I immediately sprang in to mommy mode. It’s rare for Atticus to awake after he goes down, especially so early in the evening. I threw on a giant tee shirt because I was a sweaty mess and quietly crept into the nursery.
I said nothing and turned on no lights. I simply held him in my arms and rocked him back to sleep. Sitting in the comfort of the rocking chair, my eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. I looked down at my beautiful baby listening to the gentle, rhythmic sound of his snore. It’s amazing how the world completely melts away in those little moments with your children. As I sat there, my heart full of joy, I started thinking about one of my favorite books growing up, Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. A book my mother still keeps on her coffee table at home to this day.
If you’ve never read the book, it’s a beautiful love story about a mother’s love for her son. It’s touching and brings me to tears every time I read it. My mother gifted me my own copy when Atticus was born. I remember reading it just days after giving birth. Sitting on the couch next to my mother, both of us arm in arm engrossed in the story as tears streamed down our faces.
Undoubtedly nothing prepares you for the amount of love you feel for your children. You will do everything in your power to move mountains for them, take away their pain, and give them the world. Even after our children graduate and enter adulthood, in our hearts they will forever be our babies. I know the need to rock Atticus to sleep will fade with time, but I will forever hold on to these beautiful moments that truly are the best parts of motherhood.